Everyday now I grow more and more devoid of life. I've noticed that recently that I can't handle being around anything/anyone remotely beautiful or nice. I get uncomfortable and start to feel self-conscience about myself. Did I say something stupid? Do I look terrible? Oh shit, I must look terrible right now...Everything floods my mind and eventually I get sick and have to use the restroom. I don't know why everything is regressing this quickly. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm getting mentally and physically sicker again. I don't know how much I can handle this anymore without having to seek professional help. I can't afford it right now and I just don't have time....

It's all going to end in another mental breakdown...I don't think I can manage to recover from two. My life is falling to pieces.