A single chance to redeem myself for everything...

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm hungry, but I can't find the willpower to get up and get something to eat. So then I just don't get hungry anymore. I have an incredible headache right now, in fact I've probably eaten more tylenol in the past 48 hours than food. I haven't left my room more than 4 times in the past 48 hours.  I actually have class tomorrow, which means that I will have to go outside and face the real world. But then I'm done for the week again. Apparently Monday was some sort of holiday and we didn't have classes, while I only have classes on Monday and Wednesday each week, so I had a full week of nothing. And then one day of classes, and then another four days of nothing this week. So basically I'm doing nothing right now. Haven't done anything, haven't eaten, haven't felt the motivation to leave.

Oh also haven't showered in a bout a week. Since I haven't had anywhere to go or people to see I've just been loafing around. I really hate myself for this. On good days I like to wear cologne and feel fresh and clean, but that hasn't happened in about a month. I tend to go through phases of absolute grunge to fresh and clean. I haven't shave for a month now and I've got a gross mustache and neck beard. My hair is getting long too and that's not helping my appearance. I'm pretty sure that someday this week I'll have my cleaning up ceremony where I actually take a shower, clean my face, shave, wear clean clothes, and not look like a tramp.

Maybe this is all because I've been abnormally depressed lately. More so than I've ever been before. I just don't care about things anymore. I know I'm depressed, but I'm just riding it out.