I live in my own fantasy world. Since I was nine years old almost everything I have ever said was a lie. I don't know exactly how it started but they started out small. Simple things to make me feel better about something or keep myself from getting into trouble. Then they started to get a little more complex and compounded because I would have to build upon the previous lie and so forth and so forth. Eventually I created a network of lies a history of my life that never happened and one that I didn't really believe, but everyone else did. And that's all that mattered.

They never stopped. And I don't think they ever will. It's sad to think this way but so far so good. I've been living a twenty year lie. I've been lying to myself for so long that even I convinced myself. I've kept everything in order never slipping once. Remembering who I told what and when. The only problem I've ever encountered is Why? I have no good reason as to why I lied at that moment. They just slip out and there is no going back once that happens. 

The life I lead right now is founded upon lies upon lies. I don't know how I have friends, everything I've ever told them is practically a lie blended in with a little truth served on an icey bed of more lies. My family doesn't know the lies I've told and I certainly can't tell them. My entire world would come to a fiery crash. I wouldn't have a reason to live anymore and I've always told myself if so much as one lie slips out I will kill myself and never think twice about it. It's rather frightening to think about this things for any normal person, but I am far from normal you see.

I am a pathological liar.

I'm destined to live out the rest of my life with the shame and regret for everything I've ever done and said. I can no longer carry these thoughts in my heart and mind. For too long I've been carrying a pit in my stomach and it has slowly eaten away at everything. I've already had one nervous breakdown that cost me a lot of things and the next will most likely cost me everything. I will keep a record of everything I've ever done to make me this way. A confession book.

And it begins today.